While I was sleeping, my slim long neck, my smallish waist, firm toned arms and shapely gams, were stolen. Call the body parts police!

Insult on injury they were secretly replaced with:

(1) a short, wobbly, chubby thing that connects my head to my shoulders

(2) I cannot find my small waist...I search everywhere-under the bed, etc.

It's gone now I'm shaped like a salami!

(3) Bat-winged, appendages appeared where my upper-arms resided.

I could go on, and on... alas it too depressing.