Scallops Swallowed My Smile ©2022

I think I ate scallops 3 times in my 81 years.

Why the hell I bought the small package in from the fish counter, in the supermarket…is beyond me!

It's not because I had a yen for the sea creatures, but I’m bored with buying & eating… “the same old stuff”!

They were so white & innocent looking as they hit my Teflon frying pan.

White they remained…even when fully cooked. I had showered them with what constituted loving care, on my part, butter, & garlic powder.

Then I carried my virginal looking white porcelain plate piled with the porcelain white scallops… to my favorite chair in front of the TV.

There I ate while engrossed in the nightly news.

It wasn’t delicious but bland & did say white & glistening…sitting on the plate of the same texture, & color.

When I finished the unremarkable fare…I inwardly shrieked!

Outwardly I cussed the eaten creature, and all his generations past, & future.

The f — ken reason…my porcelain white capped front tooth was gone.

Need I paint my frustration any clearer…then to shout it was darn invisible.

Now I remember my late friend, Edie once lost her cap & found it next morning in her toilet bowl. I know it's a shitty business…but I peeked from afar anyway.

But if one eats scallops…your excrement is a mottled with porcelain white flecks! I saw…& flushed… while I gagged.

“FORGETABOUT IT”!

I instantly called my dentist for a brand-new porcelain cap.

So, the lesson for me is…Don’t eat scallops, for the next 81 years!