“My Nutty Neighbor Natalie Goes Nuts…”

……………. Natalie was ‘the Nut’ that crumbled…………………….

Thinking that I had run out of anything new to write about, my muse threw me this shell of a story…from my very next-door neighbor.

Natalie was in a hurry to leave her apartment, to run a few errands this morning.

On the way out of her apartment’s den, she accidently knocked over a dish of roasted almonds.

“Oh, shit”, she mumbled as she collapsed.

Her heavy wool coat bottom must have swung & hit the top of the coffee table… where they were minding their nutty business.

So, across her slick wooden floor they scattered…in all directions. 😲

What could Natalie do? Should she walk out and leave the almonds all over the floor?

She was afraid she’d would forget they were there and slip on them as they were the same color as the shiny waxed wood planks.

Knowing that with her bad sense of balance she should NOT bend all-the-way down to pick them up…but my elderly neighbor did it anyway!

“Well, I was doing OK until I reached the last few nuts. Then Plop I fell down on my tush onto the hard floor”.

Ouch!

I tried desparately to get up, but I couldn’t. I broke into a sweat. I figure I’d take my cane to hit the house phone off its hook; to knock it to the front of the desk, nearer, so I could call for help. The fucken phone is still too out of reach on the deep bulky desk.

‘WOE IS ME’! 😮

“I’ve fallen & I can’t get up”! 😣

Hysterically I get the burning urge to pee, too!

OH NO! 🙄

I take a deep breath, then try to “tush walk” to my medical alert pendent that I left charging in its cradle…across the den. B-but I manage to knock it with its charging station to the floor, but it lands slightly under the sofa. Oh, what a Klutz…I am! 😨

I picture myself in the center of a pee puddle, stuck like an egg yolk in place. I too needed someone with a big Spatula to lift me up and off.

…..Guess who had to come my rescue… 😥

Me, Dee-Dee that’s who… along with the porter, Jose. Each of us grabbed a arm of Natalie’s and lifted up and onto her armchair.

…. Whew she heavy! 😣😮

How did I know she was in trouble?

Her dog Murphy was barking his nervous Pekinese head off…so I rang her bell over & over again. 🙄

Then called out to her until I heard her scream,

“HELP I’VE FALLEN & I CAN’T GET UP”! 😢😱😰

P.S. (Thank Goodness, she’s okay), but shaken up.