Mouse -You Louse!

By Dee-Dee Diamond

There’s a wee black mouse causing quite a stir in my home. He is never seen or heard, until I hit my kitchen, to cook dinner. Then without warning… he storms of his invisible hole… to greet me.

I’m sure he thinks because my heart skips, (when I spot him), that I’m in love, (with him). Kindly explain that isn’t so!

Last week, I had my lazy Superintendent, Monroe, plant a half dozen very sticky traps…especially for “my little unwanted suitor”.

“My luck” this “ Rat of a Mouse”… is smart and athletic. Thus, the only one to get caught in a sticky trap was my daughter, Fanny.

The Super and I, had to tear off the sole of her sneaker, to free her when she (accidently), stepped on one of them.

Mr. Mouse had to have carefully tip-toed a tight path to escape to his hiding place.

I don’t know why my distinctive, uneven footsteps, hearken him to run brazenly in front of me. (I swear I saw him smile), as I screeched and nearly fainted dead away!

Why he chose my apartment, I wondered. Questions I ask myself…

(1) How did he know where to find me? How could he have guessed which apartment was mine? (After all, there are over 900 apartments in this Manhattan building).

(2) Is 1930 his lucky number? How did he get to the 19th floor?

Surely the elevators are way too crowded with strollers, wheelchairs, bikes, as well as people, obviously, for him not to get trampled.

(3) Could it be he prefers my faux- French- inspired suite?

Maybe he dislikes the cold modern -style furnishings, most of my neighbors have.

(4) Do you think he loves my view…southern exposure, or my coveted eat-in-kitchen?

(5) Could it be that he likes “Cute Older Women”…he’s sick, and tired of “J-Date” and Match.com!

My guess is that Mr. Mouse is waiting to get my rent stabilized apartment, after he succeeds in scaring me… to death!

Whatever my long tailed rodent “friend”… BE WARNED!

The local Animal Shelter is has “a big, fat, hungry Tomcat”… up for adoption!